Women are Angels!

31 01 2010

Women are Angels
And when someone breaks our wings….
we simply continue to fly………on a broomstick…

We are flexible….

The Golf Course

26 01 2009

Here’s a heads up on what not to say if this ever happens when you’re out on the course.

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men’s tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies’ tee.

The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet.

She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,

‘I guess all those f…ing lessons I took over the winter didn’t help.’

One of the men immediately responds,

‘Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!’

He never even had a chance to duck.

A Special Christmas Gift

29 12 2008

‘Whatever you give a woman, she’s going to multiply. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So – if you give her any crap, you will receive a ton of shit.’

A Deck of Cards

19 10 2008

A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards…

You need a Heart to love him
A Diamond to marry him
A Club to smash his fucking head in
And a Spade to bury him.