Early Telephone Systems

30 01 2009

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed in California, an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet. Shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: “California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.”

One week later, The Sentinel, a local newspaper in Pennsylvania, reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near the Juniata River, in Lewistown, PA., Bubba Mitchell, a self-taught archaeologist and graduate of Slippery Rock University, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 Years ago, Pennsylvania had already gone wireless.”

Thank God for Bubba.
Who said Pennsylvanians were hicks?

The Generation Gap

20 08 2008


Apparently, a self-important college freshman attending a recent
football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen
sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to
understand his generation.

‘You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one’
the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear.  ‘The
Young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space
travel, man walking on the moon.  Our space probes have visited Mars.
We have nuclear energy, ships and electric and hydrogen cars, cell
phones. Computers with light-speed processing…And more.

After a brief silence the senior citizen responded as follows:

You’re right, son  —  We didn’t have those things when we were young
… so we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are you
doing for the next generation?

The applause was amazing.