Widdle Wabbit

12 05 2009

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth,

“Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?”

As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

“I don’t think my python weally gives a thit.”

The Retired Wal-Mart Greeter

2 02 2009

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was five,10, sometimes 15 minutes late, but he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “older person-friendly” policies.

One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him into the office for a talk. “Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome.”

“Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it.”

“Well good, you are a team player. That’s what I like to hear. It’s odd though, your coming in late. I know you’re retired from the armed forces. What did they say when you came in late there?”

“They said, ‘Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir?'”

“New” Marketing Strategies

24 01 2008

I was perusing the Internet today, and I saw a tag that intrigued me.  Nothing really new to me, as my mother and grandfather taught me how to beat the ‘big box’ retail stores, and I later worked for one…

But I thought all of you might find it interesting.  These are true-&-tried marketing strategies that just about every retail store uses.  (Take it from a pro!)


Oh… and another thought – one really great way to save while shopping both at the mall and the grocery store….  Never go to those on an empty stomach or near a mealtime.  Your almost sure to buy things that you don’t need!

Just a special consumer warning!  🙂

Tis the Season

16 12 2007

I hate the holiday season.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas and Hanaukkah, I love being with my family and friends, but I hate the way things have gotten so commercialized.  I used to work retail for a couple of big box stores, and the Christmas music always started November 1st!!!  Hello?!?!?  What happened to Thanksgiving?  A celebration of bounty and harvest, as well as time to spend with new and old friends.  The December holidays are supposed to be the same way.  December is also a special time for me, as my birthday is 5 days after Christmas.  Okay, used to be a special time.

Maybe I’m getting a little cynical, but I truly am sick and tired of all these people running around trying to impress others by buying them gifts that only fill up the house, and not the spirit.  There’s a lot to be said by sharing a bottle of wine with a friend, and sharing your time instead of mailing them a $50 iTunes card.  Wait – Wait!  I love iTunes!  Okay, so maybe you could spend that time shopping for movies and music with that friend.  That’s still quality time.

In this ever changing technological wonder of the world, more and more people are “plugged in” to the internet and to their computers/blackberrys/cell phones than sitting down and writing a letter by hand, licking the stamp and actually mailing it.  What people don’t realize is that by spending all of our time on the ‘net, we’re only distancing ourselves from one another.  We think we’re staying in touch – but we’re not.  Yes – we can get in touch faster, which can be a good thing, but now we’re pressured to send our friends and family emails practically every day, and we get scolded if we don’t.

So this holiday season, take time to shut your computer/blackberry/cell phone down and connect with the people that matter the most – and do it in person!  If you can’t be with the ones you love – make the point to have a meaningful, maybe lengthy conversation with them on the phone.  Long Distance rates aren’t that bad!  Don’t ever be afraid to tell your friends and family how much you love them because you may not get another chance.

I lost my mother 3 days after Christmas, and two days before my 18th birthday.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish I had one more day to tell and show my mom how much I love her and how much I miss her, and especially how much I appreciated her.  So, not to sound bitter, but I hate these holidays.  I hate how the retailers and the sheep that follow them fall into the commercial trap of “things” for everyone for the holidays.  Find some way this year to do something creative, or just different!  And don’t fall into the trap!  Your wallet, family and friends will thank you!   🙂