Snoopy’s Philosophy on the IRS

Snoopy & the IRS

Drunken Confession

A drunken man staggered in to a Catholic church and sat down in a
confession box, saying nothing.

The bewildered priest coughed to attract his attention, but still the
man said nothing.

The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to
get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replied, “No use knockin’, mate, there’s no paper in
this one either.”

Whew!

Well, I’m certainly glad all that is over.  In my last post I commented about how it’s spring cleaning time.  Thank GOD that’s over!  Now the house is nice and clean, and -mostly- organized, and the yard is looking SOOOOOOO much better.

So, to kick things off again, I’m putting in a funny email that a friend sent.  I have two kids, (and to quote Bill Cosby), kids can say the darndest things….  I was rolling on the floor laughing while I read it — it was just too much like my kids!  Talk about thinking outside the box!!!!   🙂

Thanks to Steve for this – you really brightened up my day!!!!

Kids Are Quick

____________________________________
TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA:       Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER:  No, that’s wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
__________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:        Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE:          I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE:          All right…  ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
_________________________________
TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:      No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :       No, sir.  It’s the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher

Funny signs

One of my friends love to send me funny pictures of various sayings on church marquees, so I thought, in honor of him, I’d post a funny one myself.  What’s funny is that he’s a used car salesman….

So, am I to assume that they’ll hire either a “NEW” or “USED” salesman?  Maybe I could trade my friend in…. He’s been pretty used….

Happy New Year!

Okay, so just to be different, I decided not to post anything for New Year’s.  I’m sure all you bloggers out there are busy attempting to catch up on your blogs from the past few days, so I decided to wait and post something on the 2nd of January, just to confuse people.  Yes – you are reading this right, I’m saying Happy New Year on January 2nd, and no, you don’t still have a hangover (or do you???)

Speaking of New Year’s, you know those pesky resolutions that everyone seems to make, but cannot ever seem to make it past February with?  I’ll tell you the one that I made about 10 years ago.  And somehow, I’ve managed to keep it going every year.  Talk about some real willpower.  Any takers on a guess?  No?  Okay then.  My resolution made back on Jan. 1, 1997 was to never make any more resolutions!  How about that?  That’s one I’ve managed to keep.  It’s a good one and I recommend that you make that resolution today!

Just a quickie….

Hmm.  Ever wonder why Santa is so popular in today’s times since the man is accused of illegal dumping, breaking and entering, stealing perishables, illegal animal traffikking, etc.  I mean, the list goes on and on..  And what about his passport and regulation through customs?

Merry Christmas

The presents are wrapped….

The house is all lit…

Relatives are coming…

And it’s going to be a hit!

Hope everyone has a non-denominational, spirited holiday (with non-alcoholic beverages), for whichever holiday you choose to celebrate!

Nah – Just kidding!  Merry Christmas!    🙂