No Explanation Needed!!

28 05 2008

Need I say more?





Bumper Stickers….

26 05 2008

I saw a bumper sticker today that really made me laugh…  It read:

“To err is human, but to blame it on someone else is management potential…”

Wow.  Doesn’t that explain big box retail to a T?    Why didn’t I think of that earlier?  Then I could be a District Manager by now…. Nah – I like designing too much….





LifeLock and Life’s cruel jokes…

22 05 2008

I just had to post this today. Did anyone see the article about the founder of LifeLock getting his identity stolen? I just thought that was hilarious. Sorry Rich…..

Read about it here….

Just tempting the hackers out there.  Stupid!!!!





An Oldie but still funny….

19 05 2008

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE LINGUISTIC TWISTS

1. DON’T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON’T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.

2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR…..

3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND
APES?

5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE
BAD GIRLS LIVE.

6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF-HELP
SECTION?” SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOU LD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS
IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”

12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED
PLANT?

13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

15 WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL
CLEAN THEM?

16. IF A TURTLE DOESN’T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO
REMAIN SILENT?

19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD
SIGNS?

21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA?

24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?

28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD “LISP” TO HAVE AN “S” IN IT?

29.. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN’T SHOOT AT THEM?

30. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

31. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME
DISORIENTED?

32. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?





An Exciting Saturday….

18 05 2008

Well. Not a Saturday goes by when I wish for a bit of excitement. Okay, so my life is boring. I’m usually at home Saturday nights, catching up on my paperwork and reading, but last night I finally had some excitement.

I went to a client’s house during the day, and worked for about 7 hours, and then on my way home, I called my roommates to let them know that I was on my way home and see if there was anything that needed to be picked up for dinner. Instead, I got the response that he was hurt. Hmmm.

Turns out, he decided to do some yardwork. Okay, no problem there. But then he decided to use the chainsaw. By himself. On a ladder. Turned 90 degrees. Need I say more???

Let’s just say he was extremely lucky. The chainsaw bucked back towards him, and managed to catch his cheek with the blades. He’s okay, but he needed 4 stitches. It could have been much, much worse. I took him to the hospital, and about 3 1/2 hours later we were able to leave. The hospital staff at Morton Plant were absolutely wonderful.

Not exactly the way I want to spend my Saturday night. Needless to say, I went to bed just after we got home. Hospitals and I don’t mix too well. I haven’t exactly had many good memories of them, and every time I go back to one, the memories come flooding back. But… he is my best friend, so I went.

Let’s just say that I’m taking the day to rest up and get rid of this headache….





Something Old… Something New…..

18 05 2008

Okay, so one of my favorites is the always inspiring Abbott and Costello. What can I say? I love old stuff… A friend sent me this updated version of their famous schtick, Who’s On First?

For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on..

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, ‘Who’s on First?’ might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, ! for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’………….





SOOO COOL!!!!

15 05 2008

I absolutely HAD to write about a new Google feature that I just came across today. You can go to Google maps and now actually SEE where you’re going when you plan for a trip. They have this great feature that allows you to see certain streets and move along as if you were actually taking photos along the way.

While not all the streets are available yet, it certainly helps along some of the main roads in certain cities. I’ll have to play with it a bit more to see how they’re processing the video. Take a look for yourself….

Talk about an awesome feature!!!! (By the way, MapQuest doesn’t have this feature…) We already know that Google rocks in the first place, but this really takes the cake! Hmmm. You think I’ll get anything done at work today????