Tidbits of Completely Useless Information!

I’m Back!

thebrainiac — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 17:29:18 +0000

Okay, so after a really long break, I decided it was time to get the blog going again. What I’m posting from now on? More Tidbits of Useless Information!! And lots of jokes. So…. To start:

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news, he said as he surveyed the worried faces. The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN.”

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, ‘How much will a brain cost?’

The doctor quickly responded, “$5,000 for a Democrat’s brain; $500 for a Republican’s brain.”

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to ‘try’ to not smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the Democrats brain so much more than a Republicans brain?”

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans brains a lot lower because they’ve actually been used.”

Woman at the Bar

thebrainiac — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 19:48:14 +0000

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love it.”

Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, “No kidding. I’m in Congress too. What state are you from?”

Obama in office

thebrainiac — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:37:39 +0000

We were in slow-moving traffic the other day and the car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: “Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8″.

My husband’s Bible was lying on the dash board & he got it & opened it up to the scripture & read it. He started laughing & laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn’t believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too..

Psalm 109:8
“Let his days be few; and let another take his office. ”

800 Pound Leatherback Turtle

thebrainiac — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:50:15 +0000

Interesting story. I have to wonder if this particular turtle was the same one that was brought to the Mote Marine Rescue back in January. Worth a read!

http://cbs4.com/local/leatherback.turtle.juno.2.1550403.html

Snoopy’s Philosophy on the IRS

thebrainiac — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 20:48:19 +0000

Snoopy & the IRS

Trace Adkins and the West Point Cadet Glee Club, USMA, ACM 2009

thebrainiac — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:45:09 +0000

This was a truly moving video. I’m not normally for country music (I prefer classical), but I was very moved.

Click here to watch on Causes.

Wow. Sad.

thebrainiac — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:44:23 +0000

I’ve posted the epitome of the obesity problem here in the US. Just a prime example. After seeing this, I think I’ll renew that gym membership….

Women are Angels!

thebrainiac — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 19:06:12 +0000

Women are Angels
And when someone breaks our wings….
we simply continue to fly………on a broomstick…

We are flexible….

Accounting Follow-up

thebrainiac — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 03:45:37 +0000

Just a quick follow-up. I’ve had people in my profession tell me I’m too picky about what clients I take on. You know what my experience has been? Getting quality clients means that not only do I get paid on time, but I have people that actually value my input!

For example, this year, 6 of my clients gave me Christmas presents and EVERY SINGLE client sent a HANDWRITTEN card! Considering that currently I only have 8 clients, that’s a pretty darn good percentage! And it’s not the size or amount of the gift that counts – it’s the thought. And the two clients that didn’t give gifts were completely understandable – I was barely able to keep them from going under, but they’re still there! (If only they had hired me earlier in the year – they wouldn’t have gotten into that position!!!)

And you know what else? Because they’re so thoughtful, I pay much closer attention to them and make sure that everything I do for them is RIGHT the FIRST time! And I’m talking about obsessive perfection.

I used to think that the success of my business would be reflected by the number of clients I had. I was completely and utterly wrong. Most of those clients were simply looking for the cheapest designer that could actually come up with designs. Now I’m much wiser (but not older!) and I pick and choose my clients, and I’m up front with them about how I do things. My clients are happy, I’m happy – Everyone Wins!

So I reiterate – <3 your Accountant, your attorney, your dry cleaner. You never know when those relationships will really need to be relied upon. Besides it being just common courtesy, it’s just a plain ‘ol thing to be nice! Trust me – you’ll feel good about it!

<3 your Accountant!

thebrainiac — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:35:52 +0000

Okay, so I do some bookkeeping work on the side to earn some extra cash. Normally I don’t dole out advice, especially if it’s unwanted, but I really feel like I have to say something. Love your Accountant. Listen to what they say! I had to deal with two people today that really just weren’t the brightest crayons in the box.

It’s not that I don’t understand that everyone can’t be financial people, it’s just that it’s very annoying to those of use who are when people don’t listen.

So tell your Accountant & Bookkeeper a big Thank You! Because we’re the ones on the backside keeping your business going….